Too Much Corn

It's hard for me to find snacks that are not "sugary." In the past my fall-backs for stomach fillers have been things like toffee covered peanuts and those pink and white animal crackers with the sprinkles ... mMm. Anyway, the point is that I've had to make alterations to my snack foods and it hasn't been going so well.

While watching the World Cup with my brother and grandma (yes, she's the most awesome grandma ever for following international soccer) I decided to make popcorn.

I've never made popcorn before.

I was doing the legit kind - not the fake stuff you microwave - I was really going to put kernels in a pot and pop them. And it would be awesome. But then it wasn't.

The trouble with popcorn is that it's difficult to tell when you have enough kernels in the pot to produce a sufficient amount of fluffy stuff. I had a big pot so I figured if I just had enough to cover the bottom I'd be good. I poured the kernels into the hot oil and lidded the pot. And then I waited. I shook the pot a little bit. And waited.

Then, all at once, the whole thing EXPLODED. There was popcorn everywhere! It was all I could do to keep the lid on the pot. Then I tried to pour some of the popped corn into a bowl to make room for the rest of the kernels to puff. Unfortunately, my grandma's old-fashioned burner stove that uses real flames and the tasseled dish rag I was using to hold the pot handles didn't get along so well.

Next thing I knew my rag was in flames and the corn just kept coming. I threw the rag into the sink of dirty dish water and slammed the knob on the stove to turn off the burner.

The final tally was more than two full bowls worth of popcorn (of which I ate an entire one all by myself ... still slightly ashamed of that,) one dead rag, and nobody any the wiser of what had happened (they were all too busy watching the USA get cheated out of an other-wise great game.)

My only consolation is that in four years when we play at the World Cup again, I'll know how to properly pop corn.

Actually, scratch that. In four years I'll be back to candied peanuts and pink animal crackers with sprinkles.