One More Day!

Woah! Just one day left! That happened fast!

I feel like people have stopped reading this blog (which is why I haven't been posting as much - at least in part), probably because they've lost interest or because ... I haven't been posting much (this feels somewhat circular.)

Believe me, I would be telling you all my sugar conflicts on community college campus were it not for the fact that ... I'm at community college all the time now. (Again, circular?)

Just know that, while I've slipped up a few times this summer, especially toward the end here, I haven't quit. I've basically gone without sugar for three months.

Things that I haven't had for 90 days?
Coke/Rootbeer/Pepsi/Dr. Pepper/etc
Cookies or brownies of any kind
Ice Creeeeeeeaaaaaaam
Cake
Caramel
Starbucks Frappaccinos
Milkshakes

It's funny, on Saturday I volunteered at my School's Bible Bee (the local level of the National Bible Contest for our area). Last year I was a competitor and there was a huge cake. I couldn't eat any because in September of last year I was doing a one-month version of this summer's no sugar project. Back then I thought to myself, next year I will be able to eat this cake.

Guess what.

It goes without saying that I've learned a lot doing this no sugar thingy... Sometimes food just tastes better when you're not eating it. I definitely remember more of my summer because every ice cream date with friends, every bag of candy in the theaters, every soda at a picnic was one I couldn't have (as opposed to "just another coke/ice-cream/etc"). It all stands out more, like those moments with food this summer have been highlighted and catagorized and filed away in my head. Which was kind of the point of this whole thing anyway - I was bored and wanted to make summer interesting.

But I've also realized that sometimes sugar makes things better. A life of lemons without sugar can only be made into lemonwater. Likewise, sometimes it's important to OTHER people that you join them in the fun. Sometimes "sweet" is exactly what you need.

Interesting how God foresaw human weakness and gave them a temporary, physical treatment (outside His Written Word).

___

So what am I doing on Wednesday? I'm waking up at the crack of dawn to go to school - for breakfast I'll eat cheesecake that has been frozen for over a month and a half.

When I get home Wednesday night I'm cookin' up some bacon and dipping it in chocolate (watch for the pictures on fb.)

Then I'm having a HUGE bowl of ice-cream with all the toppings.

And I'm never going back.

___

Thanks for following guys, you've been great.
Cheers.

Mountain Don't

My first week of college is over. It was a nightmare in a 1/2 acre radius.

Being late to my first class wasn't awful. Being laughed at for not knowing what a scantron is wasn't totally humiliating. Forgetting my student ID number and losing my spot in a half hour line for student picture IDs wasn't completely inconvenient (no. I take that back. It was.).

But nothing was as horrible as standing in the cafeteria and not knowing what to do. There was food and people everywhere and I had no idea what was going on.

I guess homeschooling has it's draw-backs.

I finally figured out the system and sat down next to some kid who had a massive cookie and a Mountain Dew. I eyed the soda jealously. I was running low on energy anyway (my flight from Prague landed in LAX at 7 - it was 11:30 before I got home - 1AM before I was in bed - and then I was up five hours later getting ready for my first class.)

I definitely bent the "no sugar" rule in the Czech Republic - some of that was necessary. But I have not had a drop of soda for three months. Believe me when I say, that Mountain Dew looked holy -- as in, it glowed and I could hear the Hallelujah Chorus in the background.

But I stuck to my guns. I had a bottled water.

In two weeks, I'm hitting that cafeteria with the force of a stampeding elephant. And this time, I'll Mountain Do.

Sugar-Coated Confessions

For you, dear followers, I will be honest.

I ate a ton of chocolate last week. Now, I was true to my word and I didn't have any "American Sugars" but the Czechs are notorious for their chocolate and it was EVERYWHERE and by the end of my last week in Europe, eating chocolate actually became essential to survive (I know, you don't believe me. I guess you had to be there...).

Point is, I am unashamed.

I am also back to not eating sugar of any kind (and I'm sooooo happy to be back on US soil.)

But for the last two weeks of this "no sugar" thing, I'm raising the bar. No sugars and no sodas were a given. Now I'm moving to no seconds and no snacks (which should be extra tough now that I've started my college classes and meals are hard to come by but snack food is everywhere.)

Furthermore, I'm getting rid of my exceptions (INCLUDING WHIPPED CREAM). Anything that COULD BE SUGAR I will not eat. That includes muffins and sweet breads, syrups, and juices. Anything in snack form, like chips or trail mix, will be left alone. Anything not provided during regular "meal time" will not be partaken of. I'm going hard-core here, guys.

GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Join me? Feel free.

Let's do this thing!

Czech out the Soda!

Apparently, Czech soda is super different than American Soda. As in .. Not as good.

Now, I haven't had any "American Sugar" since I've been here. No snickers bars, no coke, etc. But I've had Czech Cocolada and Czech Soda and it's all been quite an experience. I almost don't want to come home in ten days because I know I'll be coming home to two weeks of absolutely no sugar or snacks or seconds at all (and believe me, I've had my share of second and third helpings this trip.)

Also, you have to pay to use the restroom here. And sometimes they give you a reciept. Welcome to Europe!

From Prague!

I'm writing this post from Prague, Czech Republic! Don't expect too many of these.

We started off on our eleven hour plane ride in LAX and I was coming off an all-nighter. No sleep + 11 hours of also no sleep = ABSOLUTE INSANITY AND HEAD TRAMA.

Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean I vaguely recall having food placed in front of me. There was a square of chocolate and a cup of cheeseca-aaaahh. I remember thinking "I am not supposed to eat this" but everything after that is blank. I'm pretty sure I ate it.

While in Prague, I've stayed away from "American sugars" like cookies, candies, and brownies, but I have eated some of the "Native Deserts." Let's face it - I'll never be in Prague again, I might as well.

When we landed in Prague I thouht that it would only be fitting that the first thing I purchase in a European country would be a meal from McDonalds - the rest of the team was stopping there to chow down. I sat at a table and contemplated eating American food.

Then I fell asleep.

Cheeseca-aaaahh!

Cheesecake. It's stalking me. No seriously.

I have always loved cheesecake. But I only see it (let alone eat it) maybe once a year. Possibly twice if I'm extremely lucky. And yet, somehow, during the three-month period that I CANNOT EAT IT, it has suddenly appeared everywhere.

You may recall that I recently froze a piece of cheesecake for the fall. Not long after the execution of that more than brilliant idea I was invited to a party at the Cheesecake Factory. The first part of the evening was lovely (so were the waiters), but the second was grueling (so where the heels I was wearing.)

It may (or may not) be slightly obvious that the Cheesecake Factory only serves one thing for dessert . . . CHEESECAKE (or as we shall refer to it from now on: cheeseca-aaaahh!! in a very whiny and sort of unpleasant tone, because that's how I feel when I see cheesecake.) While everyone else ordered their deluxe cheeseca-aaaahhs, I was sitting in the corner (the corner farthest away from the outdoor heater, with the puddle of water run-off right below my feet) sipping my cappaccino and trying not to look grumpy.

Lucky for me, no one wanted the whip cream that came with their cheeseca-aaaahhs (which, you may recall, is my only exception), so my cappiccino quickly became a whipcreamo (which spellcheck is saying is a real word...).

About a week ago (new story here) I attended a homeschooling leadership conference with my mom up in Pasadena. I won't tell you how we got lost for two hours in the middle of the night and ended up in San Bernadino, or how we asked random, sketchy looking strangers for directions. I won't even tell you that our hotel had awesome vallets who couldn't speak english ... at all. But I will mention that, for dessert during their big brunch, they served cheeseca-aaaahh.

And what did I do with this cheeseca-aaaahh?

I'll tell you.

I mashed it up on the plate and swirled it into the raspberry sauce until it was a henious shade of chartruesse (which I spelled correctly on the first try!) and then heaped it back onto the gramcracker crust. When the waiter came to clear my plate he said slowly and with as much tact as possible, "...Are you done, Ma'am?" To which I replied slowly and with as much dignity as possible, "Yes."

Here's the truth guys,
I'm failing miserably. I ate a piece of Angel Food Cake. I had a pina colada (x3). And I've been snacking and seconding this whole month. It's discouraging.

But I'm still going. I've said "no" more than I've said "weeell...okay, if you insist."

Tomorrow I'm leaving for the Czech Republic where I'll be continuing my "no sugar" thing. When I come back, we just have TWO MORE WEEKS and then it's back to life as normal. And I'll finally get to eat that piece of frozen cheeseca-aaaahh.

Chocolate Nightmares

I'll be honest. I've been avoiding this blog. On purpose. No regrets. . . Actually, I do have regrets - I'm way behind.

Truthfully, I've been having chocolate-covered nightmares (believe it or not, they're real.)
On more than one night (three to be exact) in the past week and a half I have dreamt (which spellcheck is telling me isn't a real word -- ironically, it's also saying 'spellcheck' isn't a real word) I was eating some kind of chocolate. The first night it was a snickers bar and all my friends were mocking me for woosing out on my no sugar deal. The second and third times they were just huge slabs of chocolate that I DEVOURED. And the whole time I felt terrible because I was eating sugar when I shouldn't be!

And then I woke up.

I think the "troublesome" "inconvenient" and "painful" stages have past - we are now in "crazy as in 'INSANE' and you are going to become mentally unstable."

Over the next few days I will (hopefully) catch you up on some good stories. Then I will depart for the Czech Republic on a 3-week mission's trip. I will continue my no soda/no sugar thingy there (with discretion: if it's culturally related, I might bend the rule seeing as I'll probably never be in Czech again.)

When I return I will crank up the burners for the last two weeks! I will go HARDCORE! I will enforce my no snacks/no seconds portion (which I have not been enforcing ... AT ALL this month) and I will scratch the "conscience line" and just not eat anything with sugar in it at all. including cereal. and bread. . . maybe. I don't know about bread yet. We'll see.

ANYWAY. It's going to be big. Just wait.

Till then, sweet dreams.

Life's Lemons

I am currently hungry and riding a sugar low (which I've basically been in all summer in various degrees of intensity) so I decided to talk about life's lemons. Life has a lot of them. There are several lemons sitting on my counter, in fact (real lemons, not hypothetical ones.)

The following items are a result of the new July impositions:
1. I'm hungry.
2. I only had one bowl of spaghetti tonight (which I'm fairly disgruntled about).
3. I'm having trouble phrasing sentences because I can't picture words in my head without envisioning them all dribbled in chocolate sauce.
4. I suddenly have a craving for peanuts (a craving a didn't have in June when I could have eaten them.)
5. We are suddenly out milk... (that doesn't actually relate to the nutrition program but it's definitely affecting my mood.)
6. When I close my eyes, I imagine myself falling into piles and piles of potato chips and tapioca pudding FOREVER AND EVER.
7. I'm hungry.

My Mom decided to turn some of those lemons on our counter into lemonade this afternoon. What a great way to segue into my schpiel about making life sweet! . . . Oh wait. You can't make lemonade without SUGAR. This week better tumble over quickly...

also.

I REALLY WANT ICE-CREAM!

Cheesepuffs, Please

Tomorrow is the first day of July (for those of you so isolated in your Summer Enjoyment that you've lost track of the months) and with it comes the second part of my test of self-control: No Snacks/No Seconds. I'd like to focus on the former part of this.

No snacks, while not nearly as rough as 'no sugar', posses it's own problems - mostly because I foolishly used snacky foods (which I don't normally eat) as a crutch to replace my cookie crutch. Now I have no crutch at all and I'm concerned as to how that will effect the rest of my summer.

I drowned my misery at the prospect of no more French Onion Sun Chips for the summer in a bag of borrowed cheesepuffs and quickly inhaled all of them.

I feel like this may have been counter-productive (like going to a bar before attending your first AA meeting) but I also feel like I needed a proper "send-off" before plunging into a desert of carrot sticks and boiled celery.

Oh well.

Also, I should mention that today I wrapped a piece of cheesecake in tinfoil and stuck it in the back of the freezer in my garage. Call me pathetic; I just hope it's still there in September when I go back for it.

Too Much Corn

It's hard for me to find snacks that are not "sugary." In the past my fall-backs for stomach fillers have been things like toffee covered peanuts and those pink and white animal crackers with the sprinkles ... mMm. Anyway, the point is that I've had to make alterations to my snack foods and it hasn't been going so well.

While watching the World Cup with my brother and grandma (yes, she's the most awesome grandma ever for following international soccer) I decided to make popcorn.

I've never made popcorn before.

I was doing the legit kind - not the fake stuff you microwave - I was really going to put kernels in a pot and pop them. And it would be awesome. But then it wasn't.

The trouble with popcorn is that it's difficult to tell when you have enough kernels in the pot to produce a sufficient amount of fluffy stuff. I had a big pot so I figured if I just had enough to cover the bottom I'd be good. I poured the kernels into the hot oil and lidded the pot. And then I waited. I shook the pot a little bit. And waited.

Then, all at once, the whole thing EXPLODED. There was popcorn everywhere! It was all I could do to keep the lid on the pot. Then I tried to pour some of the popped corn into a bowl to make room for the rest of the kernels to puff. Unfortunately, my grandma's old-fashioned burner stove that uses real flames and the tasseled dish rag I was using to hold the pot handles didn't get along so well.

Next thing I knew my rag was in flames and the corn just kept coming. I threw the rag into the sink of dirty dish water and slammed the knob on the stove to turn off the burner.

The final tally was more than two full bowls worth of popcorn (of which I ate an entire one all by myself ... still slightly ashamed of that,) one dead rag, and nobody any the wiser of what had happened (they were all too busy watching the USA get cheated out of an other-wise great game.)

My only consolation is that in four years when we play at the World Cup again, I'll know how to properly pop corn.

Actually, scratch that. In four years I'll be back to candied peanuts and pink animal crackers with sprinkles.

Whipped-Cream

Every rule needs an exception. In Paramore's song (introduced to me by a friend on the four hour drive up to a Palm Nursery in Santa Barbara) "the only exception" - the exception is Love. In my sugarless summer, the exception is whipped cream.

You'll notice that I stated "every rule NEEDS an exception" - not has or should have. Every rule NEEDS an exception (are you beginning to see a pattern in my 'law-abiding' tendencies?)

Anyway, I spent the last week in Santa Barbara working at a Palm Nursery. In the evenings, the crew would go to a coffee shop in town called "Jitters." Jitters has a lot of appealing aspects - the native Santa Barbara art work on the walls; the 'up-and-coming' artists, hopefuls, and creative types that sat quietly at the tiny tables; the large, warm-yellow mugs they used for coffee; the free-internet...

The drink list was extensive and delicious looking. Espresso and chocolate were the two most used ingredients. I stuck to my guns and didn't have anything sugary. But as they handed me my sugar-free toffee latte, I realized that I needed an exception. So I asked for whipped cream. And I got it. It was delightful.

Is my conscience trouble? No. Is my sugarfree program ruined? Not at all. In fact, I discovered as I drove back down to San Diego, listening to Paramore on my friend's ipod and licking the whipped cream off my sugarfree starbucks vivanno, that exceptions are like whipped cream: they are good for the soul. And so is Santa Barbara. I want to go back there.

Let Them Eat Cake

"Graduation Season" is almost over, and with it go the parties, the ceremonies, the celebratory mini-golf outings at 11PM ... and the cake.

Those of you who've also been going without sugar have probably realized that "Grad Season" was not the best time to start such an event. Literally one week after I cut off my sugar intake I was confronted with sweet treats of every kind - including the MASSIVE left-over graduation cake that has been sitting in my fridge for over 8 days (I know, I'm not sure if it's even good anymore...)

For those of you who broke down and had a slice, don't worry about it - cake is my weak spot too. Don't be afraid to jump back in with the rest of us and start fresh!

For those of you who had cupcakes slammed in your faces (I would be part of this group) and managed to NOT lick the icing off your faces, congratulations. I'm proud of you.

And for those of you who've decided where your "Sugar Line" is, who've said 'no' to your "Cookie Crutches" for the past 2 and 1/2 weeks, who've walked half a block to find a water fountain instead of just drinking a coke, and who've sat in front of the fridge with the door open staring at a huge, fluffy, white cake (again, I would be part of this group), thanks for sticking in there with me.

I have a feeling that, even without the sugar, this is going to be a good summer.

Cookie-Crutches

Humans often use food (especially unhealthy foods) as a crutch to provide temporary emotional stability. Chocolate, Ice-Cream, ungodly amounts of Pizza, Squeezy-Cheese from a can, and Cookie-Dough are top on the list of comfort foods (I call them Cookie-Crutches.) The trouble with these substitutes is that they are often not as effective as an actual long tern solution would be (I know, it's a tough concept to swallow.)

When things get stressful for me (as I'm sure they will at some point this summer) I will not have my "Cookie-Crutch."

Ah, but there is hope. A recent experience in my Church's nursery on Sunday Morning gave me an insight that I would like to share with my fellow Sugar-freemen (that, guys, is our new "groupie" name, okay?)

Three children regularly attend the Nursery on Sundays. Child#1 is basically an angel and generally very easy to manage (except when she's clawing the new-comers.) Child#2 is Child#3's big brother (he's three and 1/2 years old and I love him.) He's a doll and very helpful at keeping his sister in toe. Child#3 looks cute, but she has attachment issues. When Parent's or Child#2 disappear she begins an endless flow of tears (like Alice's from "Alice in Wonderland") that grow bigger, sadder, and more hysterical on a bi-secondly basis.

Everything was going fine (as they tend to right before a massive disaster) until Child#2 had to use the restroom. As soon as he closed the bathroom door behind him, his sister, Child#3, turned on the sprinklers. Tears gushed forward uncontrollably. I opened the door for her to follow her brother into the restroom. Didn't help. So I picked up Child#1 (who's too young to be left alone) and we march in after Child#2&3.

Child#1 heard the crying (which hadn't stopped) and thought something must be wrong (I don't actually know what she was thinking, I'm just assuming that's how her thought process worked), so she started crying too. So two of my three charges are sobbing in an echoing bathroom right off the main sanctuary. I dragged all three children (not literally) out of the restroom to try and calm everyone down, unsuccessfully of course.

Child#1 was no longer crying, she was just mimicking the noise Child#3 was making, with a bright, cheery smile on her face ("Isn't this fun, Mary?"). Child#2 had stopped trying to calm his sister down and was shouting "She's not a big girl, is she? Nooo." Thanks for the heads up, Child#2. Child#3 was inconsolable. I offered her toys, I offered her Child#1's toys, I offered her a time-share when she turns 21. Bottles, blankets, and big hugs (which actually hurt the cause) didn't help. Finally I pulled out the cookies.

I had one small, animal cookie in my hand. Slowly I approached the hysterical girl.

I think it's important to mention at this point that Child#3 has always been somewhat terrified of me.

Back to the story: I'm holding the cookie in my hand, between the tips of my fingers. She sees it and (while still crying) assumes a look of curiosity. I knew that if I moved in closer she would get scared and run away (still crying.) I gently laid the cookie down on the kiddie table in front of her, feeling like a crazy native offering a sacrifice to King Kong.

As I backed away, she came forward. She grabbed the cookie and darted into a corner...Still crying.

What was this? She had the cookie! She was eating it! I knew it tasted good! So what was the problem?

No, Child#3 did not stop crying until her Mom came in and took her from my care. It actually took a person whom she loved to quiet her down.

Watching her be rocked by her Mother, chewing happily and peacefully on the animal cookies I'd given her, I realized two things: 1. Food doesn't make us feel better - People do. And 2. I miss Animal Crackers.

The Sugar Line

It's been two weeks since I began my Sugarless Summer and the hardest part is about to begin: week three. The 3rd week has always been the toughest for me because that's when the cravings really start (I love how much I sound like an addict - I'm really not totally insane, I swear).

For those of you who are trying to follow me this Summer in not consuming sugars or sodas (I'm starting part 2 in July: "no snacks or seconds") there are some issues we need to clear up. I've been asked a lot "what is considered a sugar?" Where is the Sugar Line?

Story-Time!

It is a long standing tradition in the my House to buy a boat load of candy from a Wal-Mart or Target, etc, before seeing a movie and then smuggling the candy into the Theater to save on the outrageous prices they charge for half a box of whoppers (are you sensing that I enjoy smuggling things?)

Having been invited to go see Prince of Persia with some friends, sister#2 and I set off to the Target near our House to buy some goodies. While making our way to the Candy Isle I suddenly remembered... I can't eat sugar. This lead us to spend the next half hour looking for snacks that didn't have "sugar." Unfortunately, most processed foods contain a certain amount of sugar so there wasn't anything technically "sugarfree."

Some of you may have come across this problem as well. Just about everything we eat has at least small amounts of sugar.

Sister#2: "Why don't you just decide an amount of grams per serving that is an acceptable sugar serving?"
Brilliant idea, sister#2!

But how do you figure out what is and is not an acceptable level of sugar? I'll tell you how: you document all the ingredient info on chocolate, candies, and sweet pastries in the store and then average. High sugar content is between 21 and 35 grams of sugar at a minimum. Normal is about 12. So that, we decided, is an "okay" amount of sugar grams per serving.

But as we left the Candy Isle, fruit-rollup snacks in hand, sister#2 saw a bag of sugarfree Chocolate Turtles.

(Chocolate Turtles are one of my bigger weak-spots.)

They contained absolutely no sugar (though there was a high amount of "alcohol-sugar" - a processed sweetener.) Technically speaking, these were more acceptable than the fruit snacks I was holding (and probably better tasting)!

But it was chocolate... Somehow I just couldn't bring myself to find chocolate acceptable. Legal it might be, but the Jiminy Cricket inside my head was saying "really now?"

I bought the fruit roll-ups (though I don't honestly think I'll do that again this Summer) and left the sugarfree chocolate on the shelf.

All this is to say: the Sugar Line is up to you. If you think something contains too much sugar on a technical scale, don't eat it. But if you just think you should stay away from it, or if you're not sure either way, take the safe route and say "no." It'll only be ten weeks till you can have it again anyway.

Just ten weeks, folks. =)

Chocolate Bacon

Hitting the scene in 2005 and spreading like wild-fire – it’s CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON! That’s right! You heard me! CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON, folks.

Sizzling bacon smothered in melted chocolate, cooled to perfection, it was the hottest thing on the fairgrounds last summer. They were calling it “Pig Lickers” at the Minnesota State Fair and in New York City it’s sold as “Pig Candy.”

All I can say is that I want in on this action. FINALLY someone realized that you can combine earth’s two greatest elements: delicious fat and chocolate. Of all the earth-shattering combinations, this one has the most potential to be explosive to the waistline.

In 2009, one journalist at the Florida State Fair called the dish “the greatest thing since deep-fried Pepsi.” A company in London, Selfridges & Co., sells gourmet Chocolate Bacon Bars using either smoked applewood or salted alderwood bacon, dipped in either milk or dark chocolate. Their entire stock sold out in 48 hours.

US residents are trying the recipe at home using regular bacon strips and Nestles Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips.

I think we all know the first thing I will eat on September 1^st.